New One-LIners !!!!!

1. Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.
2. 
   
3. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.
4. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
5. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried- but they wanted cash.
6. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.
7. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
8. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
9. You can't buy love. . But you pay heavily for it.
10. True friends stab you in the front.
11. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.
12. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
13. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
14. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.
15. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
16. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
17. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
18. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.
19. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
20. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.
21. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books

Hilarious Quotes !!!!

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.


Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.


Behind every successful man is a surprised woman

Here Are Sum Of The Most Hilarious Pick-up Lines!!!!

Here Are Sum Of the Most Hilarious Pick-up Lines Used By Guys!!. ENJOY!!!!!

1>. Is your last name Gillete ???.........cause your the best a man can get.

2>.Do you want to make millions? millions of babies!!!!!!!

3>.Hi, have you got a boyfriend? (if no,) Are you taking applications?

4>.My love for you is like the universe...neverending!!

5>.Your senses must be messed up 'cuz your eyes are talkin' to me.

6>.I tripped on a kiss and fell in love with you

7>.guy:what's on your face??
girl:what what get it off get it off
guy: o it's just your beautiful eyes

8>.Are you dead or alive? "Why" Because my religion says only the dead can be angels.

9>.You're so hot, you're making my beer warm.

10>.If you were a pill I'd overdose

11>.I hope your day is as radiant as your smile.

12>.If you go to a play, after it is over ask "Want to leave and see the second act?"

13>.I think you got a little food on your lip.. here let me lick it off for you.

14>.You look like my first wife! (how many have you had?) none.

15>.If you go away for a while then go back you say: "I remember you being pretty,
but not this pretty"

16>.Do you have the time..cause I’ve got the place!!

17>.It's my birthday! How about a birthday kiss? [Is it really your birthday?] No,
but how about a kiss anyway?


If U Liked The Above 1Liners I posted...........Chk My Blog Daily For Sum Kool New Additions .
keep Rocking!!!! - Dan