Homeland Security Spoof! - Part 2

	If your building collapses, climb under your table and practice yoga postures.
	Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin region. The current world record is 5 minutes, 12 seconds.
	After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head.
	If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that.
	If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower in the corner or run like hell.
	Your respiratory and digestive systems are optional. Cast them aside if you feel you no longer need them.
	If you are trapped under falling debris, conserve oxygen by not farting.
	Survive a biohazard attack by first standing, then begging on your knees, then rolling over and playing dead.
	Do not drive a station wagon if a utility pole is protruding from the hood.
	A one-inch thick piece of plywood should be sufficient protection against radiation.